Sonnet for Hope in Pain

Sonnet for Hope in Pain

Pride for you and shame upon myself

I hide from view and try to calm my mind

Symptoms of tormenting mental health

Force me to relive my other lives,

What could have been, and what is not to be

Failures of love, and friendships lost surround

My brain and pull the strings of ‘me’

Emotionally drained into the ground,

Can one pick one’s ‘self’ up while they’re falling?

If thrown a rope they must have light to see

And strength to climb back up towards the dawning

Of a new enlightened energy,

As long as my blood flows then there is hope,

That I can really live, not merely cope.


Sonnet for Peace

Sonnet for Peace

We are all sons and daughters of the Earth,

Our skin of different shades, but blood is red

We feel our pain the same, and loss of mirth

No different in the way our tears are shed.

This world is our home, no lines are drawn

Across it’s surfaces to govern where

We can and cannot tread, when soles are worn

From being chased away, we must care.

What other hope for humanity is there?

We’re all human beings, the Earth we share.

But as it’s been divided more and more,

Divisions only lead to death and war.

If you still have hope we’re not too late,

Unity is much stronger than hate.


Free will

Free will

Free Will

In solitary I question who I am

In company I know not who to be

Free will is a fantastical scam

I’ve never found an ounce of it in me

Whoever that may be, or does become

Whatever branch he doesn’t choose en-route

I’m on my shoulders like a loving son

A ride through life is closer to the truth

So if it takes me in or out the way

Up to a peak or further down as feared

I’ll have no regrets or words to say

On where my unique humble life was steered

Whoever I am, or do become

It is beautiful, that I am one.


Free will is a strange notion isn’t it? How we go about our lives feeling like we’re making all of our own decisions, when we often forget whether we’ve done something. Surely we’ve all felt that we’ve been on ‘auto-pilot’ for a time, but to what extent can our brains control us without us thinking about it, or even remembering doing it?

Sam Harris’ excellent, thought provoking book ‘Free Will’ is a great place to start for a scientific angle. Highly Recommended.. Get it here.

Let’s discuss this from all angles and perspectives, remember this is a community so everyone’s input is valued. I’d love to hear different religious or cultural attitudes to ‘free will’ from around the world, so please post your thoughts here and respect each other’s opinions. Debate but don’t attack. Thanks.

Whatever it is, it certainly isn’t free…


Hello, Blogging World.

Dear reader,

I’m L, a mental health statistic from Wales. Depression and anxiety are just words, I hope to depict what they actually mean in a sporadic, disorganised stream of mental wanderings and experiences. If I were to organise these in any way, then they wouldn’t represent my mind, which is a cluttered hurricane of thoughts, some of which pass too fleetingly even for myself to catch their drift. Sometimes I might use my poetry to explain things differently, such as now, to let you have a good scratch around the surfaces of my mind:

The Eye of the Storm

Reaching the eye of the storm in my head

Akin to loss of gravity and time

Parameters of such restraining strength

Loosen, lighten, and release my mind

It is only here that I feel free

A limitless expanse of weathered slate

Island refuge from ferocious seas

Frees me from the will to contemplate

The horizon’s dark conspiracies

Its raging ocean storm attenuates

All light before it swallows all my pleas

Colours blackened by the swelling seas

Quick as that world within an atom came

My mind’s eye is flooded once again.

Just to contextualise that somewhat, I wrote that while in the ‘eye’ of a nervous breakdown. I don’t cry often at all, my emotional emptiness won’t allow me, but sometimes there’s really nothing I want to do more. That universal indicator of despair just doesn’t manifest in me, that is until a breakdown. When the floodgate breaks, damn do I know it. I’ve cried so long and hard during a breakdown that my whole body reached a state of complete and utter numbness, with almost soothing waves of a pins and needles-like feeling, and most welcome of all, an absolute stillness of thought. This is the ‘eye of the storm’, and the only time I can ever truly possess a clear head. Trouble is, it never lasts long, and only comes around once in a blue moon (not that I want a breakdown a day). It really is a blissful, meditative state though, just a shame about all the volatility surrounding it. I referred to this state as a ‘world within an atom’ because a clear mind really is another world to me, without all the torturous mental interference and physical constraints of daily life: ‘I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams’ (Hamlet, Shakespeare (1603 ish?)). 

Anyway, I don’t want to ramble on too much, this was supposed to be a general introduction to me but as usual I’ve been drawn down a particular thread of thinking by my complicated brain. This blog’s main purpose is to provide an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations, maybe even some positivity every now and then. If you have anything to say on what I’ve written, whether you can relate or not doesn’t matter, the brain is the most complex thing that we know of in the Universe, so does anyone actually entirely understand another person? Trying to understand each other though, on an individual level and on much wider cultural, religious, and political levels, seems as important as it has ever been right now. We are all related, and we must remember that. So let’s try to discuss things on equal terms, listen to each other, no prejudice or judgement. It doesn’t even matter what we talk about, or who’s talking, just that communication breaks down barriers. So as nothing will come of nothing, I’ll see what comes of this.