On the Arse of Time

On the Arse of Time

We are essentially the stuff that spews

From dying stars,

Walking colonies of billions of


We’re born and live a while, and then we must


For all to see,

If I ever lose my memory

I’ll just hide away in the country.


I’ll live Homo-neanderthalensis style

On rabbit stew,

Think of nothing, no one, not even of me and you,

My mind will be completely empty

And in this blissful solitude

I’ll spend my days,

Sucking up the Sun’s well-travelled rays.


We are so inconsequential


Together anything is possible

Or at least nearly,

Our species’ existence is a mere follicle

On the arse of time,

Billions of creatures born and died

Within this rhyme,

Don’t kill or die for your beliefs,

I’ll live by mine.


Sonnet for Hope in Pain

Sonnet for Hope in Pain

Pride for you and shame upon myself

I hide from view and try to calm my mind

Symptoms of tormenting mental health

Force me to relive my other lives,

What could have been, and what is not to be

Failures of love, and friendships lost surround

My brain and pull the strings of ‘me’

Emotionally drained into the ground,

Can one pick one’s ‘self’ up while they’re falling?

If thrown a rope they must have light to see

And strength to climb back up towards the dawning

Of a new enlightened energy,

As long as my blood flows then there is hope,

That I can really live, not merely cope.


The ‘Meaning’ of Life

The ‘Meaning’ of Life

life: the condition which distinguishes active animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, functional activity, and continual change preceding death…

(Oxford English Reference Dictionary (2002))

Life has so many definitions. For some, a breeze, others, a constant battle for survival. But why do so many people long for ‘meaning’ in their lives, and what do they mean by this? Meaning of your life to you? Meaning of your life to others? Meaning of life in general to all people?

Here’s my Haiku on Being again, in case you missed it:

Haiku on Being

To be,

It seems to me,

Is as subjective,

As not to be,



Creatures unburdened by consciousness don’t need meaning, my cat probably lives in a more blissful contentment than any human. Hamlet said ‘conscience does make cowards of us all, and thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought’. Consciousness is an eternal torment for some, as whilst giving us the capacity for diverse positive emotions, it also provides bounteous mechanisms for the profoundly negative. To consider one’s own internal existence is an absolutely subjective experience, with an infinite amount of variables from the neurotransmitters in the nervous system to the country we were born into, the religion we were fed from infancy, the places we visit in our lives, etcetera, all influencing our overall ‘meaning’ of life.  It’s a shame in my view, that people identify with each other by the similarities they share, rather than differences, so communities can inevitably become isolated and even alienated. This is just the natural tribal nature of man, but it gives rise to irrational views and acts such as nationalism, racism, fascism, religious extremism (not by any means restricted to Islam), and the list goes on, and on.

My point is that the more divided into separate groups the human race becomes, or the more people associate frankly minor differences with negative connotations, surely the more fear and hatred and war will prevail around the world. You might say I’m stating the obvious, all you have to do is look back through the history of civilisation to find enough blood spilled to fill the Mediterranean, but if it’s so obvious then why aren’t we learning from it yet? Is it the greed and power-hunger of the higher echelons? That certainly can’t help. The unwillingness of many religious groups to ‘agree to disagree’? Undoubtedly another hindrance of progress. But these are only my opinions, based on a wholly subjective existence, I just think that civilised discussion on these themes is absolutely crucial if communities are to share any mutual understanding and respect. Respect is earned, I’m sure we can all agree on that. As always dear reader, your responses are encouraged, discussion is necessary, and your opinions are as valid as mine.


Sonnet for Peace

Sonnet for Peace

We are all sons and daughters of the Earth,

Our skin of different shades, but blood is red

We feel our pain the same, and loss of mirth

No different in the way our tears are shed.

This world is our home, no lines are drawn

Across it’s surfaces to govern where

We can and cannot tread, when soles are worn

From being chased away, we must care.

What other hope for humanity is there?

We’re all human beings, the Earth we share.

But as it’s been divided more and more,

Divisions only lead to death and war.

If you still have hope we’re not too late,

Unity is much stronger than hate.


Where Happiness Appears Unkind

Where Happiness Appears Unkind

The Darkest Corner of My Mind

Conundrum as it surely is

When time and patience disagree

Yet compromise between the two

Appears submissive, unambitious

But convergence of two paths gives

Sometimes blissful stability

Our lines in time were running true

But some insidious force grew

From deep within my fettered mind

Where happiness appears unkind

Untrustworthy and disloyal

Love in here is great betrayal

Blind and robbed of my embodiment

The Iago of my mind in government

Darkness shadowed in a lightless place

Staring numbly in death’s lifeless face.


I wrote this poem on the damaging effects that depression and anxiety can have on relationships, obviously from my own experience, but I’m sure there’s other sufferers out there who know what I’m getting at. If social interactions depend on expression of mutual interest, then for someone who struggles to take an interest in being, this is as you might expect, nigh on impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I can’t engage in interesting conversation or ever experience ‘fun’. But to feel love and fail to express it, with all the limitations to relationships this brings, is I think the root cause of some of the most profound despair felt by many depressives. Of course the condition itself is in turn the cause of this failure, but the longing for mutual understanding with those closest to us is always an agonisingly impossible dream. We’d settle for a mere acceptance, what more can we expect or hope for? I wouldn’t wish my ailments on anyone, never mind my nearest and dearest. I think depressives are forced to compromise a lot in life, and gradually accepting these compromises can surely lead to a more tolerable existence. Finding a relationship which possesses a mutual ‘sixth sense’ of love without a demand for ‘normal’ levels of emotional expression, feels like a panacea at first. The dark corners of the mind are still there though, just repressed by new light and hope. They always creep back, swallowing optimism as they grow, and if the relationship suffers or breaks as a result, well it’s just unspeakable, indescribable.

Anyway as always your thoughts or experiences shared are greatly appreciated and encouraged. I’m sharing in the hope of inspiring others to do the same, or to increase the understanding of non-sufferers, that would be amazing and I’d love to know if so. Thanks for reading.